Out here, the good girls die.
On moonlit heath and lonesome bankA careless shepherd once would keep They hang us now in Shrewsbury jail And naked to the hangman's noose And sharp the link of life will snap , Even though it may not always seem like it, deep down you are afraid of being committed to anything serious. You love the feeling of being carefree and not having anything tying you down. You're afraid that someone or something that may tie you down in life, will keep you from reaching other goals. You may also be afraid of getting hurt. You need to open yourself up more to possibilities and realize that sometimes it's good to be committed to something that you really care about. Just because you're an independent, free-spirited person doesn't mean that being committed to anything is going to change who you are. , We had our girls' night out the night before, with heart broken Alena and Michelle, getting totally wasted was definitely THEIR main agenda. With that drilled in their heads, we hopped from Zirca, to Attica and finally to The Arena. I am alright with clubbing, but only for the music! As repeated so many times, alcohol does not get me high, only the music does. But anyways, with a blond Russian, an Indian-French, an Eurasian, and of course a Chinese, the four of us can totally make up a poster for any of Singapore's multi-racial campaign. Hah. , SPRING ORIENTATION 08 (6th - 7th Jan) , Things that got me upset today: , After service which saw Pst Tan preaching such an awesome sermon, I was busy doing closing for hospitality. Then my phone rang and displayed a number which is not in my phone book. , WILD! CRAZY! HIGH TO THE MAX! , , I hate socializing, but that is required of me. My poker face is stretched out, I thank God for Laura who keeps me intact. People really do watch, and no, I am not being paranoid. Saturday nights shall also be seeing me more often in expo serving till late. My schedule sucks for this month, and again it is required of me. I am contemplating taking a break from hospi, or at least serve Sundays instead so I can spend time with the cg, but they need me for Saturday. As much as I will like to just leave, but we work as a team. I cannot bear to see the other members of the team being all stretched out just because I choose to go. I also wish to speak to my leaders on releasing me off the scheduling. That duty alone requires me to sit in front of my com for hours planning every single person shift for the entire month in expo and jw. After which, I got to call them and mass msg to confirm. And one by one I see people replying giving reasons why they cannot fulfill their duty, thus either I swop, or I substitute for them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy serving. The only reason I feel so heavy is because I am holding on to so many things. Taking a break from cg duties is something which I don't even allow myself to think. I cannot deny, I did think of shifting over to my ministry. Focusing more on hospitality than on cg, but I cannot. My love for the cg and the members will not allow me to. Thus if I were to sacrifice, it will have to be ministry. But I know the burdens my leaders carry, by letting go I will only be piling more on them, and I don't want to do that as well. So how? When school starts, 5 modules I will be taking next semester, that itself will take a lot out of me. Council is still in quite a mess, there are so many things Laura and I have yet to settle. Ambitious me also planned for my driving in Feb, my instructor was telling me to book more lessons in these two months. I am very very stretched out. Everything aspect is rushing me. Council matters are killing me, I am avoiding reading my emails as that means more work. Marketing side is still awaiting for me to settle. I left the emails regarding ministry unread, as I just don't wanna face it now. I don't have the mind to sit and plan for next month's schedule yet. I am really dreading for school to begin, coping 5 modules on top of everything. Laura only has to focus on council and studies, I have more than that. Now you see why I just won't allow myself to run for President, council cannot be my top priority. But what can I drop? Studies? Council? Cg? Ministry? I feel like dyinggggg.... and I wanna run away. I really want to crawl under my covers and hide. But hiding won't make all these go away, it will only continue piling. Avoiding calls won't solve anything, I just have to pick them up and settle it. I have 24 hours a day, I am sure I will be able to cope with everything. "So when you're feeling kind of mixed up, just remember it's a mixed up world. And if you're feeling life is just too tough, just remember you're a real tough girl." Take control girl! Take control! I'll make it work! Make it work!! , ,
The flocks by moonlight there
And high amongst the glimmering sheep
The dead man stood on air
The whistles blow forlorn
And trains all night groan on the rail
To men that die at morn
The morning clocks will ring
A neck God made for other use
Than strangling in a string
And dead on air will stand
Heels that held up as straight a chap
As treads upon the land
Saturday, January 31
What is your True Fear? Your Result: Commitment Where Your life is Going Disappointment Looked down on Losing Someone Being Alone Death What is your True Fear?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
I can so see Mich and Laura grinning to themselves ...
p/s: If anyone is selling their Jason Mraz concert ticket, do let me know, I have friends who are desperately looking around ...
Thursday, January 29
Anyhows, what I want to declare is that I love Clark Quay at night! (cityhall in the day) Always have and always will! Not only because it is where the 'hotspots' are, but also because of how spontaneous that place can be!
Example, I left the girls for a while to go find a few of my other friends at about 3am. So I was walking pass this alfresco Italian/French (I assume) cafe which was blasting the ketchup song. The Italian/French chef started dancing the ketchup dance which then saw me laughing my head off. Then before I knew it, he was beside me and I ended up doing the ketchup dance along with him on the street. I love! (not the ketchup dance, but the 'fun-ness' of it!)
I love it when people go wild and crazy together. I enjoy spontaneous trips to JB at 4am in the morning, dancing on streets, lying down on the road in the middle of the night, suddenly breaking into a 'high school musical' dance and song right smack in the crowd at orchard road, havoc driving at night (when the road is way clear of vehicles), running down the roads of potong pasir, etc.
Just letting go, unrestrained. I love!
Be FREE!
Lets escape into the music, DJ let it play.
Sunday, January 25
This orientation was the first event that sees me not being in charge of it. A different feel altogether as I looked out for my marketing guys and helped out with the videoing aspect. When I saw Stephanie running all over with her board, I told Willy "that used to be me".
Anyways, photos!
During the usual boring admin talk in the morning. As Pres. and VP, Laura and I had to stick ourselves there. Which really is such an irony considering how I sneaked off at my own orientation during the boring morning talk. (Shayne remember??!)
When we got to the campsite in the afternoon ...
HAHA. I had no idea what Elly and I were looking at.
We then had a campfire at night which saw a lot of campfire songs and dances, cheering, skits, with Laura, me and Michelle being the judges.
THEN came the super fun part! NIGHT WALK!
When the night walk crew brought Laura, myself and my marketing guys for a trial walk, we really scared ourselves silly. I was holding on to Matt's sleeve with my eyes closed, but of course, while acting brave. Hah.
Anyways I sticked around at one of the 'scare points'...
Introducing Little Ryan! You see that dummy hanging on the tree? That's Little Ryan. Matt was holding onto a string that when pulled will see Little Ryan swinging. It it super scary I tell you! Little Ryan scared the shit out of Laura and I when we first saw him. My role was to do the creepy sounds. It does not look very scary in the photo above, but trust me, it was. The bushes were very thick. Whenever Matt stood up to stretch, I refused to sit in there alone and would come out too.
And here's Benjie Boy! He is one of my marketing guys posing as a dead corpse on the road. Poor him had to go through numerous kicks and stones that were thrown by freaked out freshies. Haha. They wanted to check if that body was real. Again, the flash of the camera makes it look not scary. Imagine it without any light at all.
Yup. Then the next day, we hiked to this really pretty place!
What a beautiful place huh! Anyways the freshies had their station games and war game, while I did my job as VP (to err.. walk around and supervise. ahem) and Director of Marketing (VIDEOING!).
The girl who took over me, my Director of Events! :))))
And here is what my beloved secretary does. Elly Sim! Shiok ah. Heh.
Following which we walked back to camp, did the whole closing thing and award ceremony.
That's it folks!
Saturday, January 24
1. A name that just had to be mentioned at the meeting in the morning. That name annoys me, don't like that name one bit. Not surprising whose mouth that name came out from.
2. Being called back to expo for hospitality when I was already at Tampines with my members after service!!!! I really wanted to cry! And we finished later than security and ushers ...oh boo.
Things that saved the day:
1. PST MING! Really, he is the only pastor I dare to be cheeky with.
2. Serving at the pantry for opening, it was fun as HM gave me the liberty to lay the cny goodies out as and how I like. Plus the busy periods at the pantry is always intensive but exciting!
3. Riding the DXO's bicycle (in a dress) at expo when I went back to serve. Heh. I needed something to perk me up, thus speeding inside hall 8 on a bicycle was the best option at that time.
4. WM who totally tickled superfoulmood Audrey and awfullygrumpy me when we were doing closing. Laughed till I forgotten I was 'forced' back to serve. I cant deny it, I do enjoy serving. Audrey and I started off mad and pissed with some people, but ended up laughing our heads off with WM. Awesome. I so love love being around funny people. Told you my favourite hospi people serves on Sundays. Sighhhh.
Conclusion:
Not such a bad day after all.
And this book! Started off rather slow, mid way I was wondering if I got tricked into some chick lit, but the ending, totally freaked me out. The twist at the end got me so creeped out I didn't dare leave my room that night. The twist here can be compared to one of my favourites "tell me your dreams" by Sidney Sheldon. The only difference here is that you will NEVER expect it to come for this novel, as everything was going so... 'normal' and cheery. Whereas Sheldon's had a rather dark vibe from the start, thus you knew it was going to come. But this! I was SOOO NOT prepared! Really! I was still casually snacking away in the middle of the night at the kitchen when the twist came and freaked me out so much I hurried back to my room.
Awesome stuff.
Saturday, January 17
Me: Hello?
Person: ......
Me: HELLO???
Person: Oh hi, Kayla?
Me: Yup. Who's this?
Person: This is Pst Tan.
My heart dropped out of my body and rolled all the way to China.
I was in such a shock that I missed out everything he said - you got to understand that although I know that he knows me, he has never called me with his own phone before. I would normally be called to look for him in the guest room. In addition to that, he just preached such an awesome sermon! And it's Pst Tan! Like only my favourite Pastor!!! So anyways, the only thing I heard was the end of the call when he asked "So I'll give him your number okay?" Thinking it was about the same thing he asked me before the last time, I said okay. After which, I remembered him already giving my number to another person, so it cannot be about that thing again!
Yep. So I have no exact idea what I've joined, but really, even if Pst Tan were to ask me to join some stupid robot competition, I will make sure I build the best damn robot and make him proud.
(But please don't let it be a robot competition....)
p/s: Pam, this was what I wanted to tell you. You were the first person I called!!
Tuesday, January 13
These will be the adjectives to describe The Ting Tings' concert.
Seriously, this is the concert that sees me screaming and jumping the most. Then again, most of their songs involves screaming (rather than singing). I came out of Fort Canning drenched in perspiration and water, although Shimin and James got hit by most of the water that was being fling-ed around (as I happen to be standing quite safely in between them. Muahaha.)
So let's evaluate the crowd. As mentioned before, Suede's saw a lot of beer bellied white men, Franz Ferdinand saw a lot of 'muds' in their skinnies and striped shirts, Stereophonics's contained mostly white people as well, and for Ting Tings, arty farty TEENS!!! Almost every other girl was either in tights or dresses, I felt like I was participating in some fashion parade. Plus I was surrounded by designers (shimin and gang), who well, dressed like designers.
Moving on, I think the sound wasn't all that awesome (if you were to compare), then again, you cannot compare as they are not a full band. Nonetheless, energy was SKY-ROCKETING HIGH. The percussion was rocking! It was the percussion and her screaming that got me so very high. Yep, I didn't care that I was probably going out of tune, I just screamed the hell out of me. There was even a period when I danced till my right leg was cramped, but way over the top high me refused to stop and thus relied on my left leg to continue. HAHA.
I am physically very tired, but mentally sky high. I still wanna party away and probably would have if not for school tomorrow morning. And surprisingly, you're on my mind.
Photos shall be up when Jols and Shimin get back to me!
Hello Jason Mraz!
Sunday, January 11
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end, it's just her window ledge
Friday, January 9
God, Help!
Thursday, January 8
Simply because I love my cousins.
(and my hair)
This is my favourite.
(we are even lined up according to age! 6 months apart we each are.)I love them to the core, and would lay my life for them without a doubt. (jols, where is our cousin blog!! and 4 more days to The Tingtings!)
Anyways just got back from camp. Night walk was da bomb! Seeing the freshies' reactions were hilarious (and evil of us). Photos will be up once I get it settled.
Haiyoh, everything is piling up.
BIG SIGH BIG SIGH BIG SIGH.
Sunday, January 4
It cannot only happen in books.I want, I must, I need!
The pages must come alive.